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Perimenopause, or the time leading up to menopause, is a transitional period for many women. Hormones begin to fluctuate, which commonly causes the onset of symptoms such as hot flashes, mood swings and menstrual irregularities.
Another symptom thatâs common â but not as commonly discussed â is a change in sexual desire or your perimenopause sex drive â specifically a sudden increase in libido. While some women struggle with a decline in their sex drive during perimenopause and menopause, others may actually notice increased libido after menopause or during. Understanding perimenopause increased libido, as well as what is going on to cause this shift, may help you embrace your growing appetite for sexual intimacy.
Hear more from Bonafide Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Alyssa Dweck on why increased sex drive may occur during perimenopause and what you can do about it, below:Â
Perimenopause and Increased Libido
While many perimenopause symptoms are associated with fluctuating hormones, thatâs not necessarily the case with changes in sexual desire and drive, according to OBGYN, Dr. Suzanne Hall. âMost of the libido is surprisingly not directly related to our hormonal state,â Dr. Hall says. âAs we enter into perimenopause and menopause, what affects our libido the most dramatically are psychosocial factors.â1
Shifting attitudes around self-esteem and relationships, potentially less work- and parenting-related stress, and more time to pursue what makes them happy are just a few of the factors that may give women the freedom to appreciate intimacy in new ways, Dr. Hall explains.
Changes that can have a psychosocial impact on a womanâs life â and a womanâs sex drive after 50 may include:
Fewer Caretaking Responsibilities May Contribute to Increased Perimenopause Sex Drive
The age at which many women approach perimenopause may coincide with a time when their children are getting older, and therefore require less care. âAs our kids get older, our level of fatigue and stress from child-rearing and family-raising may begin to lessen,â Dr. Hall says. âThis allows for more time to address partnerships, intimate relationships and sexual time.â
This rekindling of intimacy between partners may reach its peak after kids leave âthe nestâ for college or other adventures; research even shows marital satisfaction improves when children move away from home.2Â If a woman happens to be in perimenopause or menopause as her nest empties, she may notice a sudden increase in her libido or sexual desire.
An increased libido in women doesnât just happen for those who are married during perimenopause, either. According to Dr. Hall, women starting new relationships, perhaps due to divorce or loss of a partner, can also experience a surge in their sex drive in perimenopause. âResearch shows3Â improved sexual functioning and increased libido in perimenopause due to new relationships,â she says.
Improved Self Esteem Can Influence Increased Libido in Perimenopause
âBody image is a big factor in how our libido functions,â says Dr. Hall. When we feel good about ourselves, we may feel more comfortable in the bedroom â and many women find themselves feeling more confident about their bodies as they age.
A massive 2018 analysis of 191 research articles about self-esteem that included data from almost 165,000 people found self-esteem increases gradually throughout middle age before peaking at age 60.4 A more recent study published in the journal Body Image, confirmed this research for women in particular, finding that their self-esteem increased with age and was highest at 60 years old.5
For women who are in perimenopause or menopause, Dr. Hall explains, newfound body confidence could lead to fewer inhibitions (and greater desire) when it comes to sex.
Less Stress at Work May Contribute to Increased Perimenopause Sex Drive
Just as fewer family responsibilities may allow a perimenopausal woman to strengthen intimate connections, so might less stress at work. While itâs certainly not true for everyone, Dr. Hall suggests that perimenopause may happen during the time in a womanâs life when her career is peaking. A stable, not-overly-taxing position at work may allow more time and energy (both physical and mental) to devote to intimacy.
This suggestion makes sense given the toll work stress can take on sexual desire. A 2019 study found 51% of respondents reported they werenât having sex with their partners because their jobs caused them so much stress.6
Is High Libido in Women During Perimenopause Ever a Problem?
Thereâs no such thing as ânormalâ when it comes to sex drive or sexual desire, meaning an increased libido during perimenopause is only a problem if itâs a problem for you (or your partner). Although she doesnât encounter many patients who complain about an increased libido, Dr. Hall says that if high perimenopause sex drive is affecting your quality of life â if itâs causing problems in your relationship, or if youâre putting yourself in unsafe situations â you should talk to your healthcare provider who may be able to refer you to a sex therapist who specializes in this area.7
Itâs also important to remember that you can still get pregnant during perimenopause, so be sure to continue using contraception until youâve gone through menopause (12 months without a period).8
Resources:
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21143419/
- https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02222.x
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201508/why-new-partner-boosts-your-sex-life
- https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2018-33338-001.html
- https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1740144521000966
- https://globalnews.ca/news/6563889/stress-libido-sex-drive/#:~:text=Stress%20can%20increase%20the%20production,bedrooms%E2%80%9D%20because%20of%20work%20stress
- https://www.healthline.com/health/high-libido#possible-causes
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23932427/
Comments
Post commentWOW! So glad for this article and this thread to know that I am not abnormal. Iâve had a pretty healthy libido most of my life, although it dipped a few times during stressful periods of my life or when my self-esteem was lower and my health was not as good as it is now. At 56. I feel that I am in the best shape of my life, even though I am not retired, I have less stress at home and work and more time to focus on my personal well-being in mind-body and spirit which has greatly enhanced self-esteem, as well as my physical appearance. My husband is almost 65. Happy that I have a strong libido. However, he has no idea how strong it has gotten. I have held back from sharing with him that I masturbate at least two times a day. In addition to hopefully getting sex with him at least once. When I did share with him, my desire to have more sex he jokingly suggested that I get my hormones, checked and make sure that my testosterone was not too high. We laughed it off and since then I just make sure to take care of my own needs as often as I want tođ¤ˇââď¸. And honestly, as much as I love making love with my husband⌠I can more easily give myself a quick release and you get my mind focused back on regular life much easier than having a whole romantic session and having then to clean upđ¤ˇââď¸. For a while I did wonder if there was something wrong with me, but This increased libido and ability to satisfy myself and get satisfied by my husband so quickly is a huge blessing and makes me feel incredibly confident and sexy all the time.
I just turned forty and am experiencing this after a lifetime of a libido so low that I was starting to think I was asexual. It was so exciting at first, but now I just read some stuff online of women experiencing this for a year or so right before being diagnosed with estrogen-driven cancers like breast at a young age, and I am panicking and absolutely spiraling as I already have health anxiety. Reading these comments has been reassuring. Just wondering if anyone else has heard of the connection, I googled and it didnât bring anything upâŚ
Whew! First article I have found that addresses this. Thank you for your comments. Iâm very relieved. I have been experiencing increased libido and thought something was wrong with me. I actually thought it was related to the vitamin Bs that Iâve been taking so I stopped taking them. I did notice a drop for about a month then bam itâs back again with full force. Sigh. Unfortunately Iâm in a bad marriage and we have not been intimate for many years so this is not something Iâm happy about. I am glad to know that Iâm not weird but I wish it were the opposite as Iâm practically single.
Oh my goodness, I am SO happy to read all of these comments. I went into menopause at 50, with NO drive d/t other issues with chronic pain, but all of a sudden at 52, itâs like others have said- a switch flipped on last week and itâs so darn distracting, interferes with sleep and everything! Now I only wish I had a partner to share it with, as, like others have said, having that desire back also makes me âfeel like a womanâ again. Cheers all:-)
Glad I found this article. I was wondering about this. For a few weeks I felt like my old self during what felt like a surge for a few weeks and now itâs been almost 2 weeks of the complete opposite. I want it back.