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Sexercises to Energize Your Experience

Dr. Alyssa Dweck

Written by Dr. Alyssa Dweck, MS, MD, FACOG, Chief Medical Officer

Dr. Alyssa Dweck

Written by Dr. Alyssa Dweck, MS, MD, FACOG, Chief Medical Officer

Have you ever wondered what goes on behind closed doors on a sex therapist’s couch when a diminished sex drive is front and center?  Of course, medical issues and hormonal fluctuations aside, we in the gynecology world have borrowed some tried and true strategies from our mental health colleagues to optimize intimacy for those who feel they have lost their mojo in the bedroom and are distressed by it.  To be clear, some women naturally feel their sexual drive waxes and wanes from time to time, and this is normal.   Others claim they could take it or leave it when it comes to sex and that’s ok too.  For those who want to optimize and energize their experience, it’s time for a workout! 

Make time for date night…

Or maybe date day or a date morning.  It’s super important to prioritize time for intimacy and connection with your partner.   With endless multitasking and never-ending responsibilities, both professionally and personally for women, intimacy can rank rather low on the to-do list.   This is especially true when partners’ schedules don’t jive or privacy is hard to come by.   I recommend regularly scheduled time, once weekly or biweekly to connect. Put it in the calendar in pen, no cancellations allowed.  Plan time and even an activity, if time allows, when all else is put on the back burner. The housework, unanswered emails and bill paying all can wait! Even a short rendezvous will leave you relaxed, renewed and excited for your next date! 

Sometimes you just need some sex on the brain…

In the sex therapy world, this is a euphemistically called “bibliotherapy”.  Oftentimes, homework is assigned.  This includes engaging for 10-15 minutes in erotic reading or watching a suggestive video to facilitate sexual thoughts and fantasy.  Choose a medium that is comfortable for you, be it a romantic novel, a sexy film genre or outright pornography.  Eventually, the hope is that these sexy thoughts become more spontaneous and translate into enhanced desire and activity.

Eliminate the ho hum, hum drum bedroom experience.

Not so infrequently when couples have been together for many years, albeit happily, sexual boredom takes hold.  Couples typically get into an unimaginative routine with the same rituals and little excitement.   Novelty is a great way to break out of this rut.   Try having sex in another room of the house or a different time of day.  Incorporate playful props or a new massage oil, for example.  Consider position changes or alternate forms of intimacy to spice things up. The possibilities are endless!

Take a walk on the wild side… if you dare

Sexual toys and props are hugely popular to enhance intimate play and to add a new level of excitement.  Role play and fantasy can also help to take the sexual experience to the “next level” for consenting adults.   

Enhance your satisfaction with Ristela®.

When it comes to the sexual experience, it’s very much about blood flow.  Ristela®, an over the counter supplement from Bonafide®, contains pycnogenol, a powerful antioxidant, which when combined with the amino acids citrulline and arginine, works to increase blood flow to the already engorged genitals during the sexual response.  Ristela has been shown in clinical studies to help improve physical arousal, orgasm and overall satisfaction.*

Give some or all these recommendations a try, at your own pace to add a little excitement back into your bedroom routine. Happy sexercising!   


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I’ve been on Ristela for almost 2 months and Wow! I’m so glad I found you! Hubby and I are EXTREMELY active even after 18 years of marriage. He’s an absolutely perfect lover. I like to think of myself the same way…but both of us would get frustrated ( him, only because I get frustrated with myself) because more often than not, no matter how hard we tried, I would not orgasm. Thanks to you and this product I’m hitting highs I’ve rarely had and it’s been a breathtaking and amazing ride! Thank you!!!!

Bev on

Thank you for addressing women’s needs. Even my obgyn doesn’t understand my needs and you seem to. I’ve ordered your products but haven’t started using the due to covid diagnosis. I’m planning to start next week and can’t wait. Thank you!

cynthia serra on

My orgasms are mind blowing! Thank you so much❤️🤠

Ruth Nichols on

I love this post, it helps greatly. Also I am a new user to Ristela, and this product really works. I thought my sex life was over after a 30yr marriage. But I was in for a surprise! I was very hesitant to use this product, due to not believing. I have been using it for a month now, and just order another bottle of Ristela today. I see myself continuing to use it if I want to keep the wonderful sexual life I am enjoying today!! Thank you so very much, I am very satisfied with the product and very grateful!

Deborah on

Helpful. Thank you

TIa on

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* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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