Midlife isn’t exactly a breeze. Between hormonal changes, family shifts, and everything else life throws at you, it’s easy to feel like your relationship is getting pushed to the back burner. As worries pile up, it may come as no surprise to find this season of life takes its toll on many marriages.
Luckily, there are real ways to keep your relationship strong—and even grow through the menopausal transition. Let’s take a look at what the data (and real-life experience) tells us about menopause and relationships—and explore ways to protect and strengthen your marriage through it all.
Menopause and Divorce Rates
Divorce rates later in life are high enough that there's even a name for it: gray divorce. According to a survey by the Family Law Menopause Project and Newson Health Research and Education, 70% of the 1,000 women surveyed blamed menopause for their divorce or problems within their marriage.1 And while menopause isn’t the direct cause for these issues, the timing lines up—and the emotional impact is real.
While menopause itself doesn’t directly lead to divorce, experts believe that common menopause symptoms like hot flashes, vaginal dryness, sleep disruptions, low libido, and anxiety or depressed moods may complicate already strained marriages. Further research indicates that financial instability, empty nests, retirement, and poor health can also add to the mixed bag of reasons-to-divorce over 50.2
So, does this mean all marriages are doomed postmenopause? Fortunately, no. With careful intention, there are plenty of ways to not only preserve—but potentially even strengthen—marriage during your midlife and beyond.
Healthy Relationship Tips During Menopause
If things feel a bit off in your relationship right now, know that you’re not alone. With the right tools and determination, couples can overcome common obstacles that may be impeding their relationships.
A few basic, menopause-centered healthy relationship tips include:
Maintain Open Communication.
Maintaining a healthy marriage through menopause can often boil down to a key ingredient—communication.3
It’s possible that many of us have grown up in households where menopause wasn’t openly discussed—leaving us unsure of what to expect or how to support ourselves and our partners moving forward. Effective communication doesn’t always come naturally for everyone, but it’s a skill most can learn.
Start by carving out intentional time with your partner to chat through worries, concerns, or changes you’re experiencing. Keep a healthy dialogue as your main priority; try to not only talk but also listen to your partner and their thoughts on the matter.4
Together, you can develop plans for navigating difficult situations and establish healthy boundaries for when one person needs space, quality time, or support.
Manage Your Symptoms.
While there’s no magic pill for hot flashes, or other disruptive symptoms, there are a variety of prescription medications, dietary supplements, lifestyle changes and resources available to provide symptom relief during menopause.
Consider talking with a healthcare provider about the menopause symptoms that may be impacting your life and relationships the most. A qualified professional may be able to address disruptive sleep issues with medication, sleep hygiene improvements, or CPAP therapy; hot flashes may be addressed with prescription medications, supplements or lifestyle changes – based on your preference; and mood changes can be managed with medication or therapy recommendations.5
Make Changes Together.
Self-care is a positive way to start managing menopause symptoms. Making healthy changes along with your partner, however, may improve the bond in a marriage even more, according to research.6
Healthy changes may include:7,8,9
- Daily exercise
- A healthy diet
- A healthy amount of sleep
- Limiting alcohol and tobacco use
- Stress management
Ask for Support
Sometimes, no matter how many conversations you’ve had with a loved one, additional support is often necessary.
It’s okay to reach out for help from a licensed professional or therapist. Whether it’s individual or couples counseling, mental health professionals can help to offer an objective take on midlife troubles and can offer support for more significant emotional changes like depression or anxiety.10 A mental health professional can also help offer insights into the hormonal component of the menopausal transition and advise couples on adjustments in communications, intimacy, and more.
A Healthy Marriage Throughout Menopause is Possible
Despite midlife challenges, it’s possible for couples to maintain a healthy marriage throughout menopause and beyond. Menopause may bring change—but it can also bring clarity, deeper connection, and a new chapter of partnership. You’re not navigating this alone. And your relationship doesn’t have to just survive it—it can thrive through it.
Resources:
- https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/women/menopause-divorce-link-study-b2204312.html
- https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/11/navigating-late-in-life-divorce
- https://www.verywellhealth.com/supporting-your-partner-during-menopause-2322673
- https://www.webmd.com/menopause/features/guys-guide-menopause
- https://www.verywellhealth.com/supporting-your-partner-during-menopause-2322673
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-aftermath-of-trauma/202404/10-tips-for-couples-navigating-menopause
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-aftermath-of-trauma/202404/10-tips-for-couples-navigating-menopause
- https://nyulangone.org/conditions/menopause/treatments/lifestyle-changes-for-menopause
- https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/menopause/staying-healthy-during-and-after-menopause
- https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause/things-you-can-do/
