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Perimenopause, or the time leading up to menopause, is a transitional period for many women. Hormones begin to fluctuate, which commonly causes the onset of symptoms such as hot flashes, mood swings and menstrual irregularities.
Another symptom that’s common — but not as commonly discussed — is a change in sexual desire or your perimenopause sex drive – specifically a sudden increase in libido. While some women struggle with a decline in their sex drive during perimenopause and menopause, others may actually notice increased libido after menopause or during. Understanding perimenopause increased libido, as well as what is going on to cause this shift, may help you embrace your growing appetite for sexual intimacy.
Hear more from Bonafide Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Alyssa Dweck on why increased sex drive may occur during perimenopause and what you can do about it, below:
Perimenopause and Increased Libido
While many perimenopause symptoms are associated with fluctuating hormones, that’s not necessarily the case with changes in sexual desire and drive, according to OBGYN, Dr. Suzanne Hall. “Most of the libido is surprisingly not directly related to our hormonal state,” Dr. Hall says. “As we enter into perimenopause and menopause, what affects our libido the most dramatically are psychosocial factors.”1
Shifting attitudes around self-esteem and relationships, potentially less work- and parenting-related stress, and more time to pursue what makes them happy are just a few of the factors that may give women the freedom to appreciate intimacy in new ways, Dr. Hall explains.
Changes that can have a psychosocial impact on a woman’s life — and a woman’s sex drive after 50 may include:
Fewer Caretaking Responsibilities May Contribute to Increased Perimenopause Sex Drive
The age at which many women approach perimenopause may coincide with a time when their children are getting older, and therefore require less care. “As our kids get older, our level of fatigue and stress from child-rearing and family-raising may begin to lessen,” Dr. Hall says. “This allows for more time to address partnerships, intimate relationships and sexual time.”
This rekindling of intimacy between partners may reach its peak after kids leave “the nest” for college or other adventures; research even shows marital satisfaction improves when children move away from home.2 If a woman happens to be in perimenopause or menopause as her nest empties, she may notice a sudden increase in her libido or sexual desire.
An increased libido in women doesn’t just happen for those who are married during perimenopause, either. According to Dr. Hall, women starting new relationships, perhaps due to divorce or loss of a partner, can also experience a surge in their sex drive in perimenopause. “Research shows3 improved sexual functioning and increased libido in perimenopause due to new relationships,” she says.
Improved Self Esteem Can Influence Increased Libido in Perimenopause
“Body image is a big factor in how our libido functions,” says Dr. Hall. When we feel good about ourselves, we may feel more comfortable in the bedroom — and many women find themselves feeling more confident about their bodies as they age.
A massive 2018 analysis of 191 research articles about self-esteem that included data from almost 165,000 people found self-esteem increases gradually throughout middle age before peaking at age 60.4 A more recent study published in the journal Body Image, confirmed this research for women in particular, finding that their self-esteem increased with age and was highest at 60 years old.5
For women who are in perimenopause or menopause, Dr. Hall explains, newfound body confidence could lead to fewer inhibitions (and greater desire) when it comes to sex.
Less Stress at Work May Contribute to Increased Perimenopause Sex Drive
Just as fewer family responsibilities may allow a perimenopausal woman to strengthen intimate connections, so might less stress at work. While it’s certainly not true for everyone, Dr. Hall suggests that perimenopause may happen during the time in a woman’s life when her career is peaking. A stable, not-overly-taxing position at work may allow more time and energy (both physical and mental) to devote to intimacy.
This suggestion makes sense given the toll work stress can take on sexual desire. A 2019 study found 51% of respondents reported they weren’t having sex with their partners because their jobs caused them so much stress.6
Is High Libido in Women During Perimenopause Ever a Problem?
There’s no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sex drive or sexual desire, meaning an increased libido during perimenopause is only a problem if it’s a problem for you (or your partner). Although she doesn’t encounter many patients who complain about an increased libido, Dr. Hall says that if high perimenopause sex drive is affecting your quality of life — if it’s causing problems in your relationship, or if you’re putting yourself in unsafe situations — you should talk to your healthcare provider who may be able to refer you to a sex therapist who specializes in this area.7
It’s also important to remember that you can still get pregnant during perimenopause, so be sure to continue using contraception until you’ve gone through menopause (12 months without a period).8
Resources
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21143419/
- https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02222.x
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201508/why-new-partner-boosts-your-sex-life
- https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2018-33338-001.html
- https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1740144521000966
- https://globalnews.ca/news/6563889/stress-libido-sex-drive/#:~:text=Stress%20can%20increase%20the%20production,bedrooms%E2%80%9D%20because%20of%20work%20stress
- https://www.healthline.com/health/high-libido#possible-causes
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23932427/
Comments
Post commentTHANK YOU! I sometimes feel like I’m going insane! I’ve never had a higher sex drive. Ever. Not even close. I’m 52 my husband is 65. He’s gone back to the gym so we can take full advantage of this wonderful opportunity. I fear it will end but have decided that it won’t. I won’t hear anything different. I won’t! I feel sexy and desirable and am more adventurous than ever. I’m so happy to read this and others’ comments. I want to start a support group. Lol
It is so relieving to read these comments, as these experiences are not to be found anywhere on the web, and have I Googled to find any mentions! 44 here and it also felt like a switch being turned on about 6 months back. I literally keep thinking I feel like a freak because I have not felt anything like this in my whole life. I have not yet reached menopause, so, maybe this is peri-menopause? And unlike what the article said, I have a lot of work stress, and didn’t make any lifestyle changes like exercising a lot or taking care of myself, so I also suspect hormones to be the cause, and would like to get my testosterone checked. Like one commentator above said, a high sex drive can emerge sooner if a woman hasn’t had children (like myself), so it’s doubly reassuring that I am not alone and not losing my mind. I too have a lot more empathy for hormonal teenage boys or people with high libido in general, now. Personally, this phase gis just hard for me because I do not have a partner. I too wish I had felt this way when I was younger, I am sure I wouldn’t have been partner-free then.
This article is fabulous!!! I am sitting here trying to find the “off” button…
Recently 51 & feel like 30 without the stresses of life, kids,work, & body image…… no wonder my mind has so much room… !!!! Couldn’t agree more with “poor hubby”… told him I bottled up all the “no’s” & saved them for this week…. Go US! Going to continue to embrace this time in my life that is so satisfying, without shame….
Omg! I am so grateful to of come across this article and realise that I am not alone in feeling like this. I have always enjoyed a healthy sex life and have never had trouble with labido but like others here something switched on suddenly and instead of a few fireworks I’ve a full pyrotechnics going on down there most of my waking days. It is quite disconcerting to start with going about your daily life swollen and throbbing and just wanting to be touched but slowly I am trying to get used to it. I am 50 and this is the most feminine I have felt in my entire life so I need to embrace this and all that comes with it. Frustratingly I have been in an on off relationship with a flaky guy who prefers to conduct the relationship 90% of the time on the phone, and although the psychical side has always been very good with us his once a month booty call is very unsatisfying so now is the time to end that and go and enjoy this feeling of renewed femininity with someone who will appreciate it.
To all you ladies who mention your husbands and wife’s on here I am very envious please do appreciate having them to hand.
this is next level comforting .. I always have loved sex.. now with this horny menopausal stage was worrying me. now I am relived that I am not alone and its Hokey to want more