Parenting Through Perimenopause: What No One Talks About

For women navigating parenting during perimenopause, life may occasionally feel like an emotional juggling act. It’s not uncommon to suddenly feel flushed, irritated, or overwhelmed for no clear reason during this time.

Why This Stage of Life Feels So Intense

Perimenopause—the transitional period of time leading up to menopause—may begin as early as your late 30s or early 40s,¹ often overlapping with the most demanding years for raising kids. During this time, estrogen levels begin to fluctuate wildly, which can significantly impact your mood and levels of stress. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), perimenopause can be associated with increased sensitivity to stress and a higher risk for mood disorders such as anxiety and depression, especially if you’ve struggled with these disorders in the past.²

At the same time, your parenting load is often at its peak. Studies show that the mental load mothers carry—keeping track of appointments, emotional labor, caregiving, and often career demands—often take a toll on mental health.³ The mental load of motherhood in perimenopause may compound the severity of already challenging symptoms, making it harder to cope day-to-day.

Hormonal Shifts Meet Household Chaos

When hormonal changes experienced during perimenopause and parenting stress collide, emotional whiplash may occur. A 2024 study in Psychoneuroendocrinology confirmed that hormonal fluctuations experienced in perimenopause can impact cortisol reactivity, making some women more susceptible to greater levels of stress, mood swings, and emotional burnout.⁴

In addition, it’s not uncommon for mothers to feel disconnected from their pre-parenting or pre-perimenopausal selves. In one qualitative study, many perimenopausal women described this transitional time as a destabilizing shift in identity, which, in some cases, worsened feelings of loneliness and anxiety.⁵

It’s been found that perimenopausal mood swings, anxiety, and irritability often stem from hormonal dips that have an impact on brain chemistry.⁶

Symptoms That May Make It Harder to Parent

From a physiological perspective, the mix of low estrogen, stress, and sleep disruption during this time, may heighten a myriad of perimenopause symptoms, including:

• Mood swings and irritability
• Anxiety or panic
• Brain fog or memory issues
• Fatigue and sleep problems

These symptoms often sneak up alongside classic parenting stress. Lifestyle factors like poor sleep, chronic stress, and lack of support may even intensify perimenopausal symptoms.⁷ Researchers at Penn State found that chronic parenting stress may alter emotional regulation and resilience—especially during hormone-driven transitions.⁸

What Helps: Simple, Backed-by-Science Strategies

There’s no magic fix—but there are tools to help you feel more like yourself.

Supportive self-care practices like mindfulness, journal writing, and gentle movement can help to regulate your emotional highs and lows.⁹ Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and talking with a healthcare provider about treatment options¹⁰—including hormone-free supplements—may also be worthwhile. Even simple strategies, like adopting routine bedtime rituals, limiting alcohol, and identifying personal triggers for emotional or physical symptoms – can help.¹¹

At the same time, asking for help with parenting isn’t just smart—it may be necessary. As Psychology Today reports, perimenopausal women may find their roles as caregivers and mothers both deeply rewarding and uniquely exhausting. Setting boundaries and redistributing responsibilities may improve emotional well-being.¹²

Tips for Moms Dealing with Perimenopause

Here are a few lifestyle tips to consider for moms dealing with perimenopause symptoms while parenting: ¹³

• Block off time just for yourself—even 15 minutes a day may help
• Use tech tools (like shared calendars) to offload mental tasks
• Talk with your partner or co-parent about redistributing invisible labor
• Keep a symptom tracker to identify patterns you may be experiencing
• Seek out other women going through similar changes—it helps to lean into community

Even small routines or rituals may help you regain a sense of agency during hormonal shifts.

Remember, you’re not weak for needing support; you’re wise for seeking it out! Perimenopause and parenting don’t have to feel like a storm you weather in silence. With the right tools, honest conversations, and ongoing support, you can feel grounded again.

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Resources:

1. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21608-perimenopause
2. https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-latest/mood-changes-during-perimenopause-are-real-heres-what-to-know
3. https://www.parents.com/parenting/moms/healthy-mom/ways-the-mental-load-impacts-moms-health-and-how-to-ask-for-help/
4. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453024002920
5. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10704889/
6. https://www.webmd.com/menopause/emotional-roller-coaster
7. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/perimenopause/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20354671
8. https://thrive.psu.edu/blog/parenting-stress-and-its-impacts/
9. https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-latest/mood-changes-during-perimenopause-are-real-heres-what-to-know
10. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32627593/
11. https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/women-health/tips-for-managing-the-range-of-perimenopause-symptoms/
12. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/scientific-mommy/202504/what-happens-when-menopause-meets-motherhood
13. https://www.self.com/story/women-tips-for-dealing-with-perimenopause-