Perimenopause, or the time leading up to menopause, is a transitional period with many changes. Hormones begin to fluctuate, which commonly causes the onset of symptoms such as hot flashes, mood swings and menstrual irregularities.
Another symptom that’s common — but not as commonly discussed — is a change in sexual desire or your perimenopause sex drive – specifically a sudden increase in libido. While some women struggle with a decline in their sex drive during perimenopause and menopause, others may actually notice high libido in menopause. Understanding increased sexual desire during menopause, as well as what is going on to cause this shift, may help you embrace your growing appetite for sexual intimacy.
For a quick video from Bonafide Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Alyssa Dweck, on high libido during menopause, check out the below clip:
Why Libido Changes in Menopause
While many perimenopause symptoms are associated with fluctuating hormones, that’s not necessarily the case with changes in sexual desire and drive, according to OBGYN, Dr. Suzanne Hall. “Most of the libido is surprisingly not directly related to our hormonal state,” Dr. Hall says. “As we enter into perimenopause and menopause, what affects our libido the most dramatically are psychosocial factors.”1
Shifting attitudes around self-esteem and relationships, potentially less work- and parenting-related stress, and more time to pursue what makes them happy are just a few of the factors that may give women the freedom to appreciate intimacy in new ways, Dr. Hall explains.
Changes that can have a psychosocial impact on a woman’s life — and a woman’s sex drive after 50 may include:
Freedom & Time: Causes of High Libido in Menopause
The age at which many women approach perimenopause may coincide with a time when their children are getting older, and therefore require less care. “As our kids get older, our level of fatigue and stress from child-rearing and family-raising may begin to lessen,” Dr. Hall says. “This allows for more time to address partnerships, intimate relationships and sexual time.”
This rekindling of intimacy between partners may reach its peak after kids leave “the nest” for college or other adventures; research even shows marital satisfaction improves when children move away from home.2 If a woman happens to be in perimenopause or menopause as her nest empties, she may notice a sudden increase in her libido or sexual desire.
High libido in menopause doesn’t just happen for those who are married during this midlife transition, either. According to Dr. Hall, women starting new relationships, perhaps due to divorce or loss of a partner, can also experience a surge in their sex drive in perimenopause. “Research shows3 improved sexual functioning and increased libido in perimenopause due to new relationships,” she says.
Self Esteem & Confidence Can Result in Increased Libido
“Body image is a big factor in how our libido functions,” says Dr. Hall. When we feel good about ourselves, we may feel more comfortable in the bedroom — and many women find themselves feeling more confident about their bodies as they age.
A massive 2018 analysis of 191 research articles about self-esteem that included data from almost 165,000 people found self-esteem increases gradually throughout middle age before peaking at age 60.4 A more recent study published in the journal Body Image, confirmed this research for women in particular, finding that their self-esteem increased with age and was highest at 60 years old.5
For women who are in perimenopause or menopause, Dr. Hall explains, newfound body confidence could lead to fewer inhibitions (and greater desire) when it comes to sex.
Less Stress Means More Sexual Desire
Just as fewer family responsibilities may allow a perimenopausal woman to strengthen intimate connections, so might less stress at work. While it’s certainly not true for everyone, Dr. Hall suggests that perimenopause may happen during the time in a woman’s life when her career is peaking. A stable, not-overly-taxing position at work may allow more time and energy (both physical and mental) to devote to intimacy.
This suggestion makes sense given the toll work stress can take on sexual desire. A 2019 study found 51% of respondents reported they weren’t having sex with their partners because their jobs caused them so much stress.6
Why Libido Changes in Menopause
There’s no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sex drive or sexual desire, meaning an increased libido during perimenopause is only a problem if it’s a problem for you (or your partner). Although she doesn’t encounter many patients who complain about an increased libido, Dr. Hall says that if high perimenopause sex drive is affecting your quality of life — if it’s causing problems in your relationship, or if you’re putting yourself in unsafe situations — you should talk to your healthcare provider who may be able to refer you to a sex therapist who specializes in this area.7
It’s also important to remember that you can still get pregnant during perimenopause, so be sure to continue using contraception until you’ve gone through menopause (12 months without a period).8
Resources
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21143419/
- https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02222.x
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201508/why-new-partner-boosts-your-sex-life
- https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2018-33338-001.html
- https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1740144521000966
- https://globalnews.ca/news/6563889/stress-libido-sex-drive/#:~:text=Stress%20can%20increase%20the%20production,bedrooms%E2%80%9D%20because%20of%20work%20stress
- https://www.healthline.com/health/high-libido#possible-causes
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23932427/
Comments
Post commentMe, too and it’s great. My issue started when a doctor gave me steroid cream when I had a simple yeast infection and was misdiagnosed with a dermatological problem…..that I never had. There are no words for the crap I went through….itching without a rash all over my body from that awful steroid cream, redness like a beet in the genital area. A good dermatologist brought me out of it along with 3 of the Mona Lisa laser treatments from a kind gyn whose jaw dropped to the floor when I told him what happened to me. He said at the time, most women have to have to repeat these once a year for maintenance but I never had to. Glad he told me that, and it is wonderful to be totally free from that problem that started with a misdiagnosis.
Needless to say, I never went to the first doctor again. Just glad to be back to normal in this way, that first doc almost ruined me with those horrendous steroid creamsand some clueless dermatologists after that until I found the one who knew what had happened and within a 5 minute conversation, I knew this one was not going to gaslight me like the others…never again!
I consider this one of those God given gifts, too, the complete healing from medical negligence. It is so good to feel normal again.
Thank God I have found this website and these comments. I was beginning to think that something was really, really wrong with me. I have never had waterworks down there but now it’s like a literal spring gusher. After going through surgical menopause and a nonexistent libido for years, the sexual surge hit me overnight. I just woke up one morning and it was like someone had flipped a switch. The fantasies, reading erotica and self pleasuring helped me so much. When I finally told my long time boyfriend about it, he really didn’t think much of it ans seemed disinterested after so many years with nothing. I do know that the surge hits women that are developing early estrogen-driven cancers such as breast cancer so I have immediately scheduled an OBGYN appointment and a Mammogram just to make sure everything is okay. I do self pleasure at least twice a day now and I am happy with it because I thought that part of my life was over.
I’m so happy to find this article. I was seriously thinking I had a brain tumour. After years of almost no desire at 50 I am sex crazed. It was like light switch. I read sexy books, listen to sexy audios on the Quinn app (for women highly recommended), and need to self pleasure like twice a day. Six months ago I figured my sex life was over and just did it to keep my husband happy. Now I am so into it it’s almost unbelievable. I think my hormones are definitely helping. I have stopped having unbearable period cramps and have a period only every 50 – 90 days. It’s complete heaven. I suffered three terrible hyperemesis pregnancies so I’m wondering if I suffered from an estrogen imbalance and now that it’s dropping I feel just incredible. Zero perimenopause symptoms too.
Thank you so much for this article! I really wish they would do some studies on this. We always hear about low sex drive and vaginal dryness for menopausal women, but never about the other side. I’m 54, always had a somewhat high sex drive, but lately it’s out control, like on some days I cant concentrate on much else (and moisture is NOT a problem). Don’t get me wrong, I truly enjoy it, alone or with my husband, but it does make it hard to focus on work etc. I also can’t help wondering why society is so keen on telling us we’ll loose our sex drive during menopause when clearly that is not the case for everyone. Some statistic studies would be nice – like, are those of us commenting on this article unusual or is there simply a bias among doctors/researchers towards focusing on the ones with decreased sex drive, perhaps because that is a better fit with what happens to men our age?
I’m only 34 but the doctor has confirmed I’m in menopause as it’s been over a year since I’ve had a period and I’m not pregnant but my husband is in prison, I’m not seeing anyone and not wanting to date, my life is very stressful but the past few months I’ve been super horny, but also been depressed, stressed etc, so it’s not because of the factors listed in the article.